I'm entering a contest...

Link: CLICK HERE

It's a bunch of fabulous books and I want to win, win, win. Granted, I have horrible luck in these things but still. Maybe there's a teeny tiny chance? Whatever. If this looks cool to you, then go and enter! And follow her blog because she's an AWESOME reviewer/blogger/writer. I think there are about 24 books to choose from. I'm salivating at the mouth just thinking about it.

New Books and the P word...

Notice how my blogging activity increases as soon as I have papers to write, presentations to do, quizzes to study for. Well, I guess that's what college is all about, right? I really wouldn't know actually. I feel like I'm floating through college. Like, I'm not really IMMERSED in it but just floating above it and observing it from higher ground. I don't particularly want to come down from here, either. I like my bubble.

I have like a ten dollar fine at my library. It's so stupid because I was just a DAY late with the dvds but since there were five of them...I have to pay ten bucks. It doesn't seem like much but when you have a limited supply of money in your hands, ten bucks is a hell of a lot. Especially for things like late overdue library books. I mean, really? How lame could I get? Why can't I be a normal young person and pay fines for speeding or something?

I've been having a pretty horrible week. Yesterday, I was especially sad and down so I decided to treat myself for no reason...just to make myself feel better. So, I got in the car and drove to...you guessed it: Borders. God, I love that place. And I bought myself about four new books. It was great. But, unfortunately, I won't be able to read them any time soon. First of all, I have a bunch of crap to deal with before I can do any recreational reading. And, second of all, I have many, many OTHER books that I bought and have been neglecting to read. So, I must read those before I can read my shiny, new books.

The books I got are:

Stealing Heaven by Elizabeth Scott: I believe it's about an eighteen year old girl who has been a thief her whole life along with her mother. But, I think she's had enough of the criminal life and wants to break free from the clutches of her mother's occupation. It sounds completely different from any other Elizabeth Scott book I've read. Which is not unusual because almost every single one of her books is different and unique. Just one of the things that makes her a great writer.

The Iron King by Julie Kagawa: Okay. I don't usually like "faery" books. It just doesn't appeal to me very much. But this book came highly recommended and my library didn't have it and the cover was pretty so I thought, what the hell. It's basically about this girl whose father went missing when she was six (don't know why this is relevant but it's mentioned in the back of the book so it must be important) and she grows up and then her brother is kidnapped or something. And she has to save him but she lands herself in the midst of faeries in the process. Oh, and she gets the hots for the sexy/cold faery prince. Of course. It just sounds like one of those books. But, it's pretty and I'm willing to give it a chance.

The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson: This book sounds fairly Sarah Dessenesque. It's about a girl who is dealing with the death of her older sister. I suppose it's just about grief and living in the shadow of an older sibling your whole life and then dealing with them not being there anymore. It's more interesting than that though. Apparently the girl starts bonding with her dead sister's boyfriend who shares her sadness and understands her sorrow. But, she also starts having a thing for the new kid in school who just makes her incredibly happy and allows her to forget about her grief. So, I guess it's some kind of crazy, complicated love triangle. Again, this book came highly recommended so I can't wait to read it.

Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce: This is probably the most interesting book of the bunch. It's basically a modern retelling of the classic "Little Red Riding Hood" except with a crazy new angle. I guess it's about two sisters who hunt the wolves that are trying to kill them. I don't really know much more than that...the synopsis of the book was pretty cryptic. But, it says that one of the sisters falls in love with the hot woodsman that lives next door. Really curious to see how it'll all play out.

...And that's it. Like I said before, if I have a limited supply of money, why am I spending so much on new books? Because I am an idiot. That's why.

I guess I have to go work on my school stuff now. Or maybe I can postpone it to later? Like, I can probably start it at around 5...that won't be too bad, right? Yeah, I think I'll start it at 5.

Sad Thoughts

I have so many things to do and think about and stress over this week...and possibly next week. My summer class is quickly wrapping up which means the end-of-class squeeze where you try and get your assignments in before the due dates and stressing over your grade. But, on top of that, I have to worry about work and my parents and all that. I hate to sound whiny and complainy but I'm just really...stressed.

Let me try talking about something less depressing. Oh, while I was waiting for an appointment with my advisor the other day, I was scanning the magazines on the table in front of me. There was this one that included a great article on Emily Dickinson and poems in general. And it brought up a great point about words and creative ways to use them. I mean, we don't read books simply to know what happened...we do it to connect to something. Or to go beyond the words? Or to float amongst the words? Whatever it is, I just completely lost the point of this anecdote. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Screw it.

I guess I could try talking about friendship. I've been thinking about it a lot. I sometimes feel like I care more about people than they do about me. It's a sad feeling because you constantly feel lonely even when you're with someone. Like there's a barrier that prevents me from connecting to someone. I don't know. I guess I could try caring less.

What else do I want to say? Life is like a circle. You feel like you're moving forward and getting somewhere but when you walk through what you think is a "new" path, you realize that it's led you back to where you started. Circles are annoying.

The frog stopped coming back to our porch. I haven't seen it in a couple of days. I actually kind of miss it. Okay. No, not really. It was disgusting. I hate small animals. I'm sure I've mentioned that.

Happy things now. No more sad things. Let's see...what's happy? Oh! I was driving home last night and I switched the radio on because it's depressing driving alone at night (I'm getting to the happy part) but then this song came on. It's called "I'm Awesome" by Spose? Or something? And I was just listening to it and I couldn't stop laughing. Because that song perfectly describes about ninety percent of our population. I mean, we like to think that we're special and talented and not completely...average. But, we kid ourselves. We're ALL average. Even famous people. I truly believe celebrities get famous through luck and looks and just working hard. But, working hard doesn't make you extraordinary. In fact, I don't believe in extraordinary people. I believe in extraordinary accomplishments and creations. But people? Are just people.  I mean, behind all our differences and individuality is an ordinary person with insecurities, emotions, hormones that go out of control sometimes. We're all very much the same.

Wow...I'm not having any success talking about happy things tonight. I'll try again later.

Review: The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie by Jaclyn Moriarty

This book was incredible. I don't know where to start. First of all, let me just say that this is part of a "kind-of" series. It's not a sequel, it's a companion novel to 3 other books, I believe. They're all set in the same world and a lot of them contain many similar characters but they're all completely different stories. Also, these books are told through letters, diary entries, messages, transcripts. It's such a creative and inventive way to get a story across, I think. The writing, itself, is really nice where you can just HEAR the main character's voice in your head.

Jaclyn Moriarty's books are always strange. But they're strange in the best way possible. Because they catch this emotion in you that is a cross between sadness and happiness. I don't know what to call it because you'll be reading a paragraph in the book and want to cry and laugh at the same time. I think the term I'm going to use is heartbreakingly funny. Seriously.

Basically, the book is about this girl named Bindy who is kind of what we like to call...a freak. She's a nerd, a know-it-all, a really big dork. And worse of all, she has NO IDEA that she comes off like that. She thinks that she's probably the best person around...until she finds out that not all her classmates like her very much. From then on, Bindy kind of spirals out of control. She loses interest in a lot of her classes and her schoolwork. She starts hallucinating, having strange dreams, throwing up. Also, she starts becoming OBSESSED with trying to make her fellow classmates like her again. But there's WAY more to the story than I'm telling you. Trust me, you're just going to have to read it to find out.

I didn't think that I'd be able to relate to Bindy at all. But, I think I learned from this book that no matter how different someone seems to be from you, you have to remember that they're still human. That they still have feelings. They're not indestructible and that they can break just as easily as you can. I ended up not only relating to Bindy throughout the course of the book, I became her cheerleader and rooted for her unconditionally and got mad at any character that tried to be mean to her. It was a crazy ride.

I finished this last night at, like, 3 AM. After you get through a certain point in this book, it's really hard to put it down. It has a little bit for everyone: romance, jokes, adventure, friendship, family, and larger more complex themes woven throughout the book. I think a lot of people can get something good out of this book. Go read it. Oh and it's set in Australia (did I not mention that?). But don't worry, I'm an American student and I related more to the school setup in this than anything I've read in those other silly high school books that are now abundant in YA lit.

In conclusion, I give it a: 5/5

One of Those Annoying Vents

I don't understand how people can be so hypocritical. Especially parents. I know, I know...I've already complained about one of my parents in the last post. But now I'm here to completely bash my father. I'm like one of those nightmare kids who don't get along with their parents. But, maybe it's the parent's fault? I doubt anyone out there will believe that but I honestly think that despite teen's and young adult's so-called "bad attitudes" most of the times a bad parental relationship is caused by the parent. So, if you're a parent of a young person and you don't know how to make things better between you and your kids, here's a list of things you SHOULD NOT DO.

1. Yelling. It's pointless, it doesn't help, and it only makes things worse. If you yell very, very rarely then this could become a sort of weapon you can use if your kid has acted REALLY bad. But, usually, kids don't get "rowdy" and uncontrollable simply because they're bad at heart.I believe that when kids act out, they're usually in some sort of trouble or they're confused and hurt. So, yelling doesn't really help the situation. It doesn't scare them. It just makes them even angrier. And one thing you DON'T want is an angry teenager.

2. TELLING them what to do. Especially once they get above the age of 12. You can suggest things and help them with their problems and give them logical advice but don't DICTATE to them what they HAVE to do. This just makes you a dictator and nobody likes dictators.

3. Not admitting your mistakes. We know parents make mistakes. Seriously, we know grownups are not perfect. But what pisses us off the most is when parents try to act like they ARE perfect. What the hell? We know you're not. And acting like that mistake you made WASN'T a mistake is just going to make you look like an idiot. We'll respect you more if you actually admit when you're wrong and apologize.

These are just a couple of tips. Good parents probably already know all of them but my dad sure as hell doesn't. Not to say he's a BAD dad. He's provided for us, he isn't an alcoholic, he isn't abusive. He just does all the things I've listed that parents shouldn't do. And that makes him very hard to live with or get along with. But I wish the man the best. And I've learned to have a very thick skin when it comes to him. I just hate it when he yells and criticizes to death but doesn't have the decency to see his own glaring flaws.

Okay. Hideous vent over. Thanks for listening.

The Pros and Cons of Other People

What's this? I'm writing another blog post within a 24 hour time period? Why, yes, I believe I am. Also, I lied to you. I didn't have work today. Yeah, my 3 AM self is so much more stupid than my 3 PM self. But. That's to be expected, isn't it?

Anyway I just wanted to talk about some things. Some things like other people. Now, I'm a self-proclaimed loner, okay? Give me the option of staying at home alone, curled up with a good book and good food, instead of out and "partying" and "mingling" with aforementioned other people and I will gladly take it. Trust me. I'm definitely not big on the concept of sharing my time with "friends" (I put quotations around this word because I'm using the term loosely).

However. And I know this is a big jump. But, sometimes, the company of these others can be quite soothing. Sometimes, one just needs an ear to talk into, some eyes to look into, some souls to mingle with. It just lightens the load a little. It can be good for you. Bring you back to earth a little. So that you can realize that you're not the ONLY person who inhabits this tiny planet of ours. And that fact, when given at the right time, can be incredibly soothing.

Of course, there are many, many exceptions to what I just said. For example, some people, try as they might, can never be soothing and good for the soul. Talking to these people might just ruin your entire day. Like, my mother. And I know that's harsh. I shouldn't talk about my mother like that. She's the one who raised me. Fed me, clothed me, "guided" me (whatever that means). But, I'm sorry. She just doesn't know how to encourage someone. Making someone feel better is just not in her capabilities. I'm not bashing the woman (I love her very much) but I'm simply stating a fact. She only knows how to PUSH and PUSH and PUSH until her plans for you are carried out and seen through.

She's wanted me to be a doctor, right? I mean, she's REALLY wanted it. It's her DREAM. The biggest dream I think she's ever really gone after. Now, I believe in respecting your parents, and loving them, and obeying their wishes...but upto a certain extent. I don't think that me being a doctor is something that SHE has any right to go after. It's a dream that doesn't belong to her. But she doesn't understand that. She thinks that it's her responsibility as a parent to PUSH that dream on me. To tell me what to do. Therefore, whenever I talk to her she smashes me into pieces instead of encouraging.

Now, this summer, my mother is vacationing miles away from me. And I've never been so clear about what I want to do in life. That sounds horrible but it's completely true that, without her in the picture, I'm not held back by this stress to please her, to go after HER dream. However, she does call and talk to me from time to time, and while I like these phone calls, today she brought back this old topic of "You're throwing your life away" that got me in a foul mood for the rest of the day. And resulted in me curling up into a ball on my bed and not wanting to deal with anything.

So, I think the only temporary remedy to this situation is to find some other other people and take a load off from this feeling of suffocation. Any takers?

Why is 2 AM so popular?

Ever notice how almost every song/movie/show, whenever referencing some really late night hour, they almost always randomly say 2 AM? I don't know why. It's never 3 AM or 1 AM. It's always 2 AM. I guess it's just one of those weird things people do without even noticing that they're doing it.

I don't really have a plan for this particular blog post. Usually I try and think about a topic that I want to discuss before I actually start writing something. But right now, I'm just writing for the sake of writing. So...stick around, this could get interesting.

An update on what I'm reading? It's called The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie by Jaclyn Moriarty. I haven't gotten too far into it (about 70 pages) but it's pretty good so far. I just haven't gotten the time to read. I've been working. And when I'm not working, I'm usually at school. And if, by some miracle, I'm not doing EITHER of those things, I'm getting caught up on other chores/errands around the house. OR, when I get really lucky, I'm out with friends or my sister trying to enjoy the summer days before they end. I really need to move reading up on my list of priorities though--that is, if I still want to be a writer (which I do).

Let's see what else I can talk about...

Um....uh...I saw a frog today? Outside my house, when I came back from work. Let me set the scene: I'm opening the front door and I look down at my feet and there it is in all it's grossness. So, of course I jump about twelve feet in the air (not really) and quickly descend my steps and run back to my car (this part is true). And, as I'm sitting there, being kept outside of my own house by a two-inch frog, I contemplate the hilariousness of the situation. So, instead of kicking myself metaphorically for the absolute retardedness of my actions, I laugh at them. Which, I have to admit, is a MUCH better way of handling these kinds of things. Laugh and it'll be easier to let go later on. You won't be stuck sitting wide awake at 3 AM (AHA not 2 AM!) and wondering why you're such a wuss. Anyway, eventually my sister (my YOUNGER sister, I might add), got home from the movies and let me into the house and we (actually, SHE) shooed the frog away. Yeah, I needed to be saved by my sixteen year old sister. Life is funny, isn't it?

Also. Frogs are gross-looking. Just saying.

Hm...anything else? Nope. I should probably get to bed now since I have to be up for work tomorrow...and the cycle continues. :)