I notice patterns in the paint.

Have you ever had that thing where you stay up all night just...thinking? About random stuff? Yeah. That, that right there, is my whole life.

So one thing you should know is that my brain revolves around a central theme. In fact, I think most of our brains have some sort of central idea that we base a lot of our interests, likes, dislikes, and decisions on. Some of us are aware of that central theme and others don't give it too much thought. But I believe we all have it.

MINE is the idea of good vs. evil. I am obsessed with this notion that the world contains things we perceive as good and others as bad. And a lot of those perceptions are not based on facts or anything else, really, except we just KNOW that certain things are good and others are bad. For example, killing people is bad, right? Most people believe that. I think I can say that it's pretty much a universal opinion. But, like, where did that come from? Is it just experience as human beings and history that lead us to these morals that we hold in our lives? Religion? Some old guy telling us what to do? I don't know. I just know that good exists. And evil exists. Whether or not they're conjured up by some sort of higher power or by society, it's there.

But that's not what I'm concerned with. What really interests me is the fact that most of us know things that are BAD and that we shouldn't do. And we know what's good and what we should do. And yet...we don't always do these things that we should and fall into things that we know are essentially considered BAD. Gossiping, making fun of others, cheating, lying, abuse of all kinds. We know these things are harmful. Yet we still do them. Why? If we KNOW that they're not good things then why? Is it just some internal mechanism in us that says...good doesn't exist, these rules don't apply RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE. Does it trick you into thinking that these things aren't actually evil? I think it does. Sometimes we lose track of all these things that we do because we're so caught up in, well, living. We don't even notice. But, if you're a real human being, after you do these things, after you turn off your lights and lie awake all night thinking about that girl you just gossipped about, there should be a sickening feeling in your stomach. And hopefully, remembering that sickening feeling should help you from gossipping about other people.

But sometimes it doesn't work like that. Sometimes we lie awake one night. We lie awake another night. Until it becomes a habit and that sickening feeling never comes back. Then you need to worry, my friend. Because I think that your good internal mechanism that is essential to your humanity is broken and you might have to see a professional to get it fixed. And it might be REALLY hard to find a professional because you might have no idea who he is.